1) You CAN work through things if you subtract everyone else from the equation and focus on the only two people that matter in a relationship. Outside interference whether it be a concerned friend, a meddling family member or a trifling bitch. GET THEM OUT!!
2) Don't make promises you can't keep. Not wanting to hurt your loved ones feelings tends to make it hard to be honest. Trust me, broken promises and deception hurts your partner WAY worse than just saying "I don't know" or "I will try. "
3) It is OK to say no. Again, feelings and not wanting to tread on them will make you do crazy things. Ex: "Oh yes! I would Loooove to go hiking with you" when in reality you can't stand the idea of being eating alive by mosquitos, sweating your balls off and climbing up the side of a mountain. IT IS OK TO SAY NO!!!
4) It is also ok to do things apart from each other. In the new relationship, when hormones and googly eyes are abundant, you want to do EVERYTHING together. You can't imagine not doing everything together. The times you can't be together you are sad and lonely and maybe even feel guilt. You are two different people. Had two different upbringings. It is ok to do two different things occasionally.
5) Always include your special person. Even if you are doing two different things, come home and tell them all about it! Sharing your life doesn't mean losing yourself.
6) I always read about this in articles about "how to have a strong relationship". I swear it is in EVERY SINGLE ONE. ....never go to bed separately. And I always think that that is some BS. Rarely do manfriend and I go to bed at the same time. I'm an 8-5er...he is a night shifter. Even if he isn't working those hours much anymore that is what he is use to. And honestly, I prefer to fall asleep alone and have him come to bed later. It works better for us and as long as I get my tuck in and good night kisses or a loving sweet dreams text on the nights he is working I am happy.
7) Fight fair!! I've learned there is no need to raise your voice during an argument. Sure sometimes you might get heated but if you both stay calm and think about what you say before you spill word vomit then the argument should not escalate to something that can't be solved in a short amount of time. It is easier said then done sometimes, but don't bring up past issues. IF this happens more often than not then the past problems were never solved and need to be discussed and resolved.
8) When deciding to coexist in one location, pet peeves should be discussed prior to moving. Sometimes this is IMPOSSIBLE because you don't know that something drives you absolutely batshit crazy until it is being done. In this case, discuss them as soon as possible.
9) Touch!! The human touch can do so much for the spirit. Hold hands. Run your fingers through their hair. Give little kisses on your way past each other. Do this often and every single day!!
10) We have said two things from the start of our relationship and I think it has helped us tremendously. Baby steps and One day at a time. When you are so obsessed with the future or the past there is no way to live in the NOW.
“As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
I am by no means a relationship expert. I won't even pretend that we have a perfect or even close to perfect relationship.I am learning and adjusting every day. We both are. All I can say with absolute assurance is that he is worth it. Loving him and being loved by him is worth fighting for.
