Love, cohabitation and fighting fair

Just a few things I have learned while being in my relationship with my manfriend....

1) You CAN work through things if you subtract everyone else from the equation and focus on the only two people that matter in a relationship. Outside interference whether it be a concerned friend, a meddling family member or a trifling bitch. GET THEM OUT!!

2) Don't make promises you can't keep. Not wanting to hurt your loved ones feelings tends to make it hard to be honest. Trust me, broken promises and deception hurts your partner WAY worse than just saying "I don't know" or "I will try. "

3) It is OK to say no. Again, feelings and not wanting to tread on them will make you do crazy things. Ex: "Oh yes! I would Loooove to go hiking with you" when in reality you can't stand the idea of being eating alive by mosquitos, sweating your balls off and climbing up the side of a mountain. IT IS OK TO SAY NO!!!

4) It is also ok to do things apart from each other. In the new relationship, when hormones and googly eyes are abundant, you want to do EVERYTHING together. You can't imagine not doing everything together. The times you can't be together you are sad and lonely and maybe even feel guilt. You are two different people. Had two different upbringings. It is ok to do two different things occasionally.

5) Always include your special person. Even if you are doing two different things, come home and tell them all about it! Sharing your life doesn't mean losing yourself.

6) I always read about this in articles about "how to have a strong relationship". I swear it is in EVERY SINGLE ONE. ....never go to bed separately. And I always think that that is some BS. Rarely do manfriend and I go to bed at the same time. I'm an 8-5er...he is a night shifter. Even if he isn't working those hours much anymore that is what he is use to. And honestly, I prefer to fall asleep alone and have him come to bed later. It works better for us and as long as I get my tuck in and good night kisses or a loving sweet dreams text on the nights he is working I am happy.

7) Fight fair!! I've learned there is no need to raise your voice during an argument. Sure sometimes you might get heated but if you both stay calm and think about what you say before you spill word vomit then the argument should not escalate to something that can't be solved in a short amount of time.  It is easier said then done sometimes, but don't bring up past issues. IF this happens more often than not then the past problems were never solved and need to be discussed and resolved.

8) When deciding to coexist in one location, pet peeves should be discussed prior to moving. Sometimes this is IMPOSSIBLE because you don't know that something drives you absolutely batshit crazy until it is being done. In this case, discuss them as soon as possible.

9) Touch!! The human touch can do so much for the spirit. Hold hands. Run your fingers through their hair. Give little kisses on your way past each other. Do this often and every single day!!

10) We have said two things from the start of our relationship and I think it has helped us tremendously. Baby steps and One day at a time. When you are so obsessed with the future or the past there is no way to live in the NOW.

 “As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action.” 
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

I am by no means a relationship expert. I won't even pretend that we have a perfect or even close to perfect relationship.I am learning and adjusting every day. We both are. All I can say with absolute assurance is that he is worth it. Loving him and being loved by him is worth fighting for. 

Running

Running...

I use that term loosely as I seem to be able to walk faster than I can run.

Regardless...

I MISS IT!!

I've ran this year. One 5 k in which I did my worst time in history but I was dragging an unruly and tired 7 year old with me. I am so proud that BOTH of us finished and she is actually asking me about the next one but it was HARD to get through it.

My race watch battery is dead, I have no clue where all my other running gear is besides my sneakers and I am apparently very much out of shape which I realized yesterday doing yard work.

The manfriend made a comment (while I sat on the couch dying) about how I use to run 3 miles everyday and had actually got up to 9 miles at one time before I stopped. Yes, that 9 miles took me nearly 2 hours but dang it, I did it!

My best 3k time was 38 minutes. And after that one I felt like I should have pushed myself more. Like I knew I could do better. I actually ALWAYS feel like that after running. It's like I can't get my mind into pushing myself during the actual run...but I'm willing to try again.

I'm looking forward to kicking butt again!!

Summertime

So today was the last day of school in my area. My daughter and I opted to let her stay home with her Aunt Sissy and "skip" it.  I've also decided to let her "skip" public school all together and will be homeschooling her next year. I know me, and I'm terrified. I know I get my mind set on something and I do it and then the boredom sets in. What if it happens with this? What if halfway through I'm like "F it!" and fail my own child? THAT IS TERRIFYING!!! But I'm going to do it.

I'm also thinking of becoming more hippie like. Yep. Moving closer to my dream of living off the grid. We already have the garden started. The manfriend has done WONDERFUL on it!!! I will update with pictures once I get home today.

And my friend is going to teach me about canning foods so none of the awesome goodness of the fresh veggies and fruits go to waste.

I'm looking for ways to save money, cut corners, and slide off the grid. Unfortunately most of the google searches I do (ex: 100 ways to save money, Frugal living etc etc) are lists of things there is NO way I could do or I already do. Seriously...I'm pretty cheap. Ok...I am am REALLY, REALLY cheap. I have dug out my e-cig though and am attempting to quit smoking again. It is really the only BIG money saver I can do right now. I guess I could cut out drinking...bahahahhahaa. No.

I'm researching ways to cut down on my utility bill. Mom swears by her bubble wrapped windows.

I am going to research cheaper means of cable or being able to watch all our favorite tv shows. Can't miss the final season of Sons of Anarchy!!

Just a bunch of little things and big changes going on in my neck of the woods right now. Wish me luck!!

PS- Still weighing in at like 164. I got down to 163 for half a second earlier this week but nope. That is gone for now. Ugh.

Geocaching

For about a year now I have been hooked on geocaching. It is fun, family friendly and free!!

Don't know what geocaching is? Basically other geocachers hide containers all over the world and you use gps coordinates to find them. You can read more about it on the website HERE.

Now to my post:

About a month ago the Alabama State Parks set out a series of caches in parks all over the state. The first 75 people to find all 8 get a special prize. This is no easy task since these caches are all the way from Ft. Payne to Mobile. To top it off they are puzzle boxes. Once you FIND them you have to figure out how to open them.

Up until yesterday we had found one of them located in Desoto State Park. Getting into that took forever!!!

Yesterday, after  having to bury our pet bird and just really needing to get away from the house and all the memories, we decided to do one located in the Guntersville State Park. Easy as pie! Found it, opened it and got our stamp and left.

So after that one the manfriend decides that we have time to make it to Birmingham for the Oak Mountain cache. Where this picture was taken.

There are two different perspectives happening at this very moment. I had just slipped on some leaves and was sitting there. Manfriend ( who snapped the picture) thought I looked cute sitting there resting. In his defense we had just hiked uphill for quite a bit but come on!! I have never needed a 10 minute break while hiking.

Meanwhile in my head this conversation is happening:

Oh my f&@!!?& God. I have f?!&@ up my knee. Can he carry me? Oh s&!@ , he's going to have to carry me off the g@/?)$@+# mountain. OH GOD WE ARE GOING TO DIE UP HERE!!!

You might be wondering why I didn't just tell manfriend that I had hurt myself. Well at this point we had drove over an hour, paid 6 bucks and were like 200 feet away from this cache. They would have to pull my cold, dead body off this mountain before I left without getting this cache. Manfriend would have insisted on going back to the car. Then I'd have to make a makeshift shank using all natural  materials, stab him, hide the body and THEN walk 200 more feet to the cache. No way I could do all that before it got dark. So I got up, put my big girl panties on and we found the cache!!

At this point I am really glad I didn't have to shank manfriend because there is no way I could have figured out the combination to get into the box without him. We get our stamp, pick up an official Alabama State Park pathtag and head out.

Thanks to a hint from a previous cacher we decide to walk by the edge off the little stream instead of taking on the inclined mountain side we had come in on. Things were much safer this way. Unfortunately everything looked different and I had another conversation with myself.

Self, we have a problem. You've done went and got yourself lost on a mountain. You are going to be out here all night before they find you. It is probably going to get cold and there are bugs. Shit shit shit YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ON THIS MOUNTAIN!!!

Again, you may be asking yourself why I didn't just think about using my PHONE and calling for help. I'm sure I would have eventually but my mind usually goes straight to the worse case scenario in situations before I'm able to rationalize.

We finally make it off this God forsaken mountain and head back to Huntsville. And my brain starts talking again. I've had two near death experiences today. I deserve wine!! 

Normally this wouldn't be an issue. Wine and I get along very well. But this was a very, VERY bad idea. Why? Because it shut my brain off and I completely forgot our post mountain geocaching procedures. That's right folks. We did not do our tick checks. Which brings me to today. This glorious and beautiful. Easter Sunday I woke up and found a tick on me. *shiver*  Tick was removed without incident and I can still limp around so we are now off to enjoy today with family. 

Ps-weighing in at 164 nowadays. :-)

Oopsie

Well, it has been 1 year 3 months and 18 days since I posted on my blog.

Why?

Well let's see.

First the fun/awesome stuff.

I started dating a wonderful man. We made it "official" in January 2013 and even though the first year was filled with all kinds of ups and downs we fought through it. We decided right off that "WE" were worth trying for. Worth fighting for. And that is exactly what we did!

My offspring turned 6...then 7. Wow. I have a 7 year old. Every day she makes me smile and laugh and pull my hair out. I won't even get into the disgusting pig sty of a room I have to clean out once a month or how she still can't eat without getting it all over her face. (Really?!? There is one hole and you can't hit it??) She is my light. My blessing. My heartache and all my fears of this world being as horrible of a place as I imagine and see every day is all rolled into my faith and hope for her to do better. To be better. To make this world a better place. If anyone can do it, she can!

The icky stuff...

I went through a couple jobs, unemployment and just had no direction. Still not sure if I really do but I'm at least on a paved road now.

I stopped running. I stopped calorie counting. I put on some weight. The lowest I ever saw was 157 and that was when the manfriend and I first started dating. I last weighed in at 165 something. It doesn't sound like a lot but thinking about how HARD I tried to get below that 160 mark makes me sad that I just gave up.

I joined Scale Back Alabama with a group of friends 10 weeks ago with a goal to lose 10 pounds. Easy enough, right? ha! I weighed in officially at 172 and go in Friday for the final weigh in. No doubt it won't be much of a loss since it will be in the evening. Probably a total of 4-5 pounds. Blah.

All this to get to the point of I'm READY!! I'm ready to start back. I'm ready to run (ok..walk fast), to eat better. To get to my goal weight. Which I think is 155..lol.

Some motivational images...

The swimsuit I want!!

My weight loss progress from before...

I'll take another one in the morning to get a "starting point"

:)