It is never ok to stop

I guess I got comfortable ...or maybe thought I had this weight thing in check. Well , I didn't. It came back and I am right where I started . Around 190 . 188 was the highest I've seen on the scale.

This pisses me off. Words can not express how pissed I am with myself. All that work and then just BLAH.

Well nope, not happening. Going to hit my goal if it kills me.

Weigh Ins

Starting weight - 10/11/2015: 187.6 

I have joined a Diet Bet game . Check it out if you haven't heard about it.

I also bought a fitbit. Got it super cheap on ebay!! YAY!

I'm ready to do this...again!!

Love, cohabitation and fighting fair revisted

Wow! It has been over a year since I wrote Love, cohabitation and fighting fair here on the blog.  So much has changed and yet, so little has changed. 

                                               2013                                                  2015

 

I thought I would review my key points and see where I stand on the subject now that we are officially living together. No more “escape hatch” for when things blow up and you don’t want to look at each other’s face for another second. We have one house, one home and if we are on the verge of getting stabby then we just have to pick different corners of the house.  Also, at this point when I get pissed and unfriend Jim on Facebook he just logs into my account and refriends himself….CURSES!!! 

Another thing that has come about this past year + is that we don’t go out as often. Ok..like never. It isn’t that we don’t THINK about it…we really do.  We just don’t do the whole bar thing anymore and it is much better for us that way and we are old. We tuck ourselves in at night watching weird, random documentaries and it is lights out by 10 pm. 

My favorite manfriend quote “ I want to make out with you so hard….but I am so tired” 

We aren’t the same people that started dating close to 3 years ago. We are definitely not the same people that met 10+ years ago but I wouldn’t have it any other way and I can not see myself growing up and changing with anyone else but him.

Ok here we go…

1) You CAN work through things if you subtract everyone else from the equation and focus on the only two people that matter in a relationship. Outside interference whether it be a concerned friend, a meddling family member or a trifling bitch. GET THEM OUT!!

This is still number one for us!! Yes we appreciate everyone’s concern. We often ask for close friends and family’s opinions. But in the end we have to do what is right for us and our family.  I might call you and tell you that he is the biggest asshole on the planet. Nay!! In the UNIVERSE!! But by this point my homies know I’ll be calling them the next day cruising around with my honey like nothing ever happened. We need people to vent to, people to nod and agree, including when we do call back the next day and say that we are fine and working through it. We promise not to do it too often.

2) Don't make promises you can't keep. Not wanting to hurt your loved ones feelings tends to make it hard to be honest. Trust me, broken promises and deception hurts your partner WAY worse than just saying "I don't know" or "I will try. "

I guess I would just like to add to this. Don’t lie!! For instance, if you tell your partner “we are fostering a dog” don’t bring home a dog and 6 puppies. Trust me on this.

3) It is OK to say no. Again, feelings and not wanting to tread on them will make you do crazy things. Ex: "Oh yes! I would Loooove to go hiking with you" when in reality you can't stand the idea of being eating alive by mosquitos, sweating your balls off and climbing up the side of a mountain. IT IS OK TO SAY NO!!!

Still totally ok to say no but don’t do it ALL the time. If he wants you to ride to Lowe’s with him after work and all you can think of is sitting on the couch watching a romantic comedy and swimming into a bottle of wine just think about how often you have said no already and then get your ass up and ride to Lowe’s.  It is also perfectly acceptable to take something completely off the table. Example: “I will NEVER go hiking again. Neeevvvveeerrrr. “ Got it buddy!! I won’t ask and no feeling will be hurt. You have drawn that line in the sand. 

4) It is also ok to do things apart from each other. In the new relationship, when hormones and googly eyes are abundant, you want to do EVERYTHING together. You can't imagine not doing everything together. The times you can't be together you are sad and lonely and maybe even feel guilt. You are two different people. Had two different upbringings. It is ok to do two different things occasionally.

I still think this is ok but apparently it is a fine line between I’m meeting my girlfriends for lunch (totally acceptable to manfriend) and I’m going out on a huge boat for a week with my girlfriends. (totally NOT acceptable)

5) Always include your special person. Even if you are doing two different things, come home and tell them all about it! Sharing your life doesn't mean losing yourself.

Refer to last statement.  When going on a huge boat for a week with girlfriends paying the extra money for internet access is mandatory. Noted and never forgot now! You live and you learn.

6) I always read about this in articles about "how to have a strong relationship". I swear it is in EVERY SINGLE ONE. ....never go to bed separately. And I always think that that is some BS. Rarely do manfriend and I go to bed at the same time. I'm an 8-5er...he is a night shifter. Even if he isn't working those hours much anymore that is what he is use to. And honestly, I prefer to fall asleep alone and have him come to bed later. It works better for us and as long as I get my tuck in and good night kisses or a loving sweet dreams text on the nights he is working I am happy. 

We still have different sleeping patterns but we always try to lay down together for a little bit. There is no better part of my day then when we lay down and hold hands while watching some random thing on youtube.  It is the way I want to end all of my nights.

7) Fight fair!! I've learned there is no need to raise your voice during an argument. Sure sometimes you might get heated but if you both stay calm and think about what you say before you spill word vomit then the argument should not escalate to something that can't be solved in a short amount of time.  It is easier said than done sometimes, but don't bring up past issues. IF this happens more often than not then the past problems were never solved and need to be discussed and resolved.

Ok..back when I wrote this I think I was trying to not yell because manfriend didn’t like it. Over the past year I have realized that manfriend can be a HUGE passive aggressive JERK FACE!!  Instead of yelling he says things and does things that make me want to claw his eyes out !! So yeah, I yell when we are arguing. But hey! AT least he knows when I am mad. A lot of times I have to take a wild guess and figure out what I did to piss him off. I like my way a LOT better!! 
 

8) When deciding to coexist in one location, pet peeves should be discussed prior to moving. Sometimes this is IMPOSSIBLE because you don't know that something drives you absolutely batshit crazy until it is being done. In this case, discuss them as soon as possible.

He is still driving me batshit crazy. That is all.

9) Touch!! The human touch can do so much for the spirit. Hold hands. Run your fingers through their hair. Give little kisses on your way past each other. Do this often and every single day!!

Yes yes yes!! A million times yes!!  I can feel myself on the verge of getting frustrated or annoyed and then remember this. It is amazing how a hug from a manfriend or your offspring can make you feel like it will all be ok.

10) We have said two things from the start of our relationship and I think it has helped us tremendously. Baby steps and One day at a time. When you are so obsessed with the future or the past there is no way to live in the NOW.

Forever, one day at a time.

Disney for Cheapskates #4 - Gimme Monster

My child is probably just like every other child in the world. They want STUFF. Sometimes it is just for the sake of getting STUFF and nothing more. I don’t know how many times she has begged and pleaded for something she absolutely “loves” just to get it home and never touch it again. Granted if my child ever dared to utter the words “Gimme” there would be a totally different situation happening. She knows better than that mess!!  Mama don’t play that.

Now onto Disney and beating that Gimme Monster back into the deep recesses of her little 8 year old subconscious. Disney pays a lot of people a lot of money to market their products. They are really, really good at it. Like…really good at it.  I am almost more worried about MY impulse buys than T’s need for stuff.

My plan…buy little Disney trinkets BEFORE we go on vacation and leave them in the room before we leave for the day. When we get back to the room T will have a Disney surprise waiting on her!!!  

Just the few things I have bought so far:

Rapunzel dress for her birthday day. $20 at Costco. For the complete outfit at Bippidy Boppidy Boutique it is another $100!! Nope. Not going down like that. Sure she would get shoes and stuff but it isn’t like she can walk all around Disney World that day in some little uncomfortable slipper things so what is the point?!?  Only downfall…Lula wanted it SOOOO bad until she tried it on and found it to be too itchy. I threw a tank top on her and told her to suck it up and all she had to do was where it for the salon and the character breakfast and then she could change and never wear it again. Why did I do this? Why am I so mean? Because after 9 years I know her little butt and I definitely know me. We would get there, she would see all the other girls in their absolutely adorable costumes and feel left out. Then my mommy guilt would kick in because it is her birthday and I want her to feel special blah blah blah and there goes $100. Not on my watch Mr. Disney!!!

Our Rapunzel dress:

Disney’s Repunzel dress:

                                                                               

My other purchase was this adorable necklace!! And it is pretty big and opens up so I might find a little treat to go inside of it too. How much?? A break the bank amount at $1.27!! Have I mentioned that I love shopping from China? Sure I know I should shop local but this thing was roughly $10-15 if I bought it from a US based ebayer. Sorry. I have all the time in the world to wait for it to go through customs. What I do not have is money to pay THAT much more for the same product.

Other things I am scoping out is a cheap Disney notebook for autographs. The cheapest one at Disney is about $8 . I am going to hit up a Dollar Tree and find a little notebook that will work just fine!

I know that all this might keep the Gimme beast at bay but eventually he is going to poke through and want something from the park. For this T will have her very own Disney gift card (value not determined yet) so she can buy whatever she wants. Once that is used up that is it. No more purchases. I am thinking $50 should be plenty but that sounds like a lot too so I’m still thinking.

The total savings for stuff I plan on buying is a total estimate. I figure for every $1 I spend before our trip I am saving at the very least $5! Except for the dress...I know I am saving $100 on that thing. lol And I am guessing I will spend about $50 on these little gifts.

TOTAL SPENT: $1143.50

TOTAL SAVED: $2467.06

Disney for Cheapskates #3 - HOTEL

So how did I manage to get a High end Disney Resort for 5 nights for only $119.60 more than the Value resort price??

Ok, there is this thing called DVC. Or Disney Vacation Rentals. Basically Disney World timeshares. People buy packages for X amount of points to be used towards their hotel during trips. Just like normal timeshares sometimes the owners can’t make a trip that year or just need a little extra cash so they sell the points that they have. This is a 100% legit and reasonably priced scenario.

Most of the time there is a set price ranging from $9-16 per point and there are lists of how many points it takes per night to stay at the different resorts. Usually the lower ones being already booked rooms for certain dates or from individuals. 

I chose to pay the higher price and go through a broker because there are risks!! Scary, poor people don’t have time for that , risks.

The reservation is in your name. You get all the reservation information and can log into the Disney website etc etc etc. BUT…the reservation is still under control of the OWNER. They can cancel it, stop making timeshare payments or just whatever and you can lose your money and your hotel room.  By going through a broker I might still be at risk of getting there and having no reservation BUT the broker guarantees my money and I will be refunded in full. If I booked through an individual it would be just me and Joe Blow battling it out over my money. And I would hate to have to track someone down and take it out of their butt if there happened to be an issue.

It is just safer for all parties if I don’t run the risk of losing a hotel and my money!!

I decided to go through  http://dvcrentalstore.com/ to book ours because they allow a ½ of cost deposit with payment due in full 45 days before the trip.

We will be staying at the awesome Animal Kingdom Lodge !! Check it out! It is awesome!! Lol

https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/resorts/animal-kingdom-villas-kidani/rates-rooms/

We would have paid $881.40 on the value resort. We are paying $1001.00 for the Deluxe Villa. Normally this room for our dates would have cost us $ 2784.40!!!

Since we could have got it cheaper I am figuring that our savings between the regular cost and the DVC cost minus the $100+ over the value resort cost will be my savings. J PS- you can only use the DVC points at the higher end resorts so it won’t work if you wanted to stay at the value one. 

TOTAL SPENT: $1073.50

TOTAL SAVED: $2187.06

Disney for Cheapskates #2 - TICKETS

Disney tickets will always be one of your biggest expenses on a Disney World trip. It is what it is and we all pay it so blah.

I have scoured the internet and forums for any way to make this expense at least a little less for my gang. There are definitely places that claim they have cheap tickets but I am too chicken to use them. I can’t imagine showing up the big day and getting rejected because you have a bad ticket!! Man that would suck!! 

Florida residents get pretty good deals too and trust me, I thought about every way imaginable to “get away” with getting and using these cheaper tickets but in the end …I’m a big chicken and can’t do it because I would hate to be the one person trying to get off cheap and ruin it for everyone doing it legit like. 

So here is what I came up with:

Buying them outright from Disney is going to cost us $953.19

Buying from Undercover Tourist : $ 944.85

So then I remembered Six Flags tickets we got on the arsenal one year. Dad went and bought them and we used them. They have Disney tickets too!! And you are very much able to use the regular tickets without a member of the armed forces present!! (It is not the heavily discounted tickets that they can use but still less expensive and no tax)

Buying on base : $875

Then I did more research…..

Ok , there are websites dedicated to selling gift cards at a discount. Look at target ones!! You can usually save 7% on the face value when you purchase them. PURCHASE THEM!! Lol

Step 2: Go to target and use these gift cards to buy Disney gift cards !!

Step 3: make sure you have your Target Redcard for another 5% discount.

Step 4: Go to the Disney website and buy your tickets with the Disney gift cards!!

I haven’t DONE this yet but it is all over the internet and if it works I will pay $838.81 for two adult and one child 4 day pass!! 

Disney for Cheapskates #1

For about 2 years now I have wanted to take T to Disney World. Specifically bring her on her birthday. This year it is going to happen!!! She will be 9 and I will never be able to top this. She is being set up for years of disappointment but a week of pure princess fun!

We are doing this on a budget…and I plan on helping other “money tight” families learn how. We are splurging on a few items so I am interested in a running total of how much we spend and how much someone could spend if they took out those “THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!” splurges.

To date I have only set up two things for sure:

1)      Disney pins on ebay. 10 for $12.74. $1.28 each.

You can read all about the pin trading here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disney_pin_trading

Basically pins cost around $7.95 and up. If we waited until the day we were at the park to buy them it would total $79.50 to purchase in order to trade!!! CRAZY! Not happening. This was we spent about $13 bucks and Lula will have a memory that lasts a lifetime. And cool pins!!

2)      Eating out for less!! Let me say this...I have no shame and will not hesitate to pull a sammich from my fanny pack if it saves us a butt load of money!! I first looked into the Disney Dining plan… I thought it would be awesome to always eat at the parks and not to worry about money while we were there but $515.75 for the cheapest plan they have is it really worth it?? Not for us. So this is what I did.

Resturants.com offers discounted gift certificates. I had some that I had purchased years ago and never used so I was able to exchange them. They NEVER expire either which is great!!

·         $15 L’ italiano’s Chicago Pizzeria & Italian Restorante

·         $10 Geneva Pizza

·         $25 one80 Sportsgrill

This cost me nothing but would normally run (with a coupon code that is readily available about $9-10 ). There is a catch. You have to spend normally twice as much as the gift card when you go. After going through the menus and coming up with a plan our meals should come to about $109.25 including 15% gratuity. $59.25 after gift certificates!! The best part is that it is PLENTY of food for us to pack up and take for lunch/snacks at the parks the next day. So for the three of us we are looking at roughly $19.75 each  for 2 meals a day for 3 days or $3.30 per meal. Um…YEAH I’ll take it!!

So that is all that is confirmed so far. Coming soon:

·         How to get discounted tickets

·         How to get a Disney Deluxe Villa for the Value Resort price

TOTAL:

Disney pins

Paid : $12.74

Normal Cost : $79.50

SAVED: $66.76

2 Meals a day for 3 days

Paid: $59.75

Normal Cost: $109.25

SAVED:  $49.50 (but actually will save $456.50 by not doing the meal plan. )

TOTAL SPENT: $72.50

TOTAL SAVED: $523.26

Love, cohabitation and fighting fair

Just a few things I have learned while being in my relationship with my manfriend....

1) You CAN work through things if you subtract everyone else from the equation and focus on the only two people that matter in a relationship. Outside interference whether it be a concerned friend, a meddling family member or a trifling bitch. GET THEM OUT!!

2) Don't make promises you can't keep. Not wanting to hurt your loved ones feelings tends to make it hard to be honest. Trust me, broken promises and deception hurts your partner WAY worse than just saying "I don't know" or "I will try. "

3) It is OK to say no. Again, feelings and not wanting to tread on them will make you do crazy things. Ex: "Oh yes! I would Loooove to go hiking with you" when in reality you can't stand the idea of being eating alive by mosquitos, sweating your balls off and climbing up the side of a mountain. IT IS OK TO SAY NO!!!

4) It is also ok to do things apart from each other. In the new relationship, when hormones and googly eyes are abundant, you want to do EVERYTHING together. You can't imagine not doing everything together. The times you can't be together you are sad and lonely and maybe even feel guilt. You are two different people. Had two different upbringings. It is ok to do two different things occasionally.

5) Always include your special person. Even if you are doing two different things, come home and tell them all about it! Sharing your life doesn't mean losing yourself.

6) I always read about this in articles about "how to have a strong relationship". I swear it is in EVERY SINGLE ONE. ....never go to bed separately. And I always think that that is some BS. Rarely do manfriend and I go to bed at the same time. I'm an 8-5er...he is a night shifter. Even if he isn't working those hours much anymore that is what he is use to. And honestly, I prefer to fall asleep alone and have him come to bed later. It works better for us and as long as I get my tuck in and good night kisses or a loving sweet dreams text on the nights he is working I am happy.

7) Fight fair!! I've learned there is no need to raise your voice during an argument. Sure sometimes you might get heated but if you both stay calm and think about what you say before you spill word vomit then the argument should not escalate to something that can't be solved in a short amount of time.  It is easier said then done sometimes, but don't bring up past issues. IF this happens more often than not then the past problems were never solved and need to be discussed and resolved.

8) When deciding to coexist in one location, pet peeves should be discussed prior to moving. Sometimes this is IMPOSSIBLE because you don't know that something drives you absolutely batshit crazy until it is being done. In this case, discuss them as soon as possible.

9) Touch!! The human touch can do so much for the spirit. Hold hands. Run your fingers through their hair. Give little kisses on your way past each other. Do this often and every single day!!

10) We have said two things from the start of our relationship and I think it has helped us tremendously. Baby steps and One day at a time. When you are so obsessed with the future or the past there is no way to live in the NOW.

 “As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action.” 
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

I am by no means a relationship expert. I won't even pretend that we have a perfect or even close to perfect relationship.I am learning and adjusting every day. We both are. All I can say with absolute assurance is that he is worth it. Loving him and being loved by him is worth fighting for.